Monday, March 9, 2015

My Safe Has Better Guns than Star Wars

My Safe Has Better Guns than Star Wars

Over the Christmas break, the family watched the entire Star Wars series in high def Blue Ray and unfortunately some of the props were not created to look good in high def. Star Wars originally was way cooler back when released, however back as a very young gunslinger, I was confused back then how a "highly trained" army of clone soldiers were so freaking bad shots and rarely if ever used cover. Admittedly, I am a Star Wars and Star Trek nerd, and everyone would admit that Star Trek technology would stomp Star Wars technology... however ya know, Star Wars was a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away. Geez even the super power bad dudes like Q on Star Trek were infinitely more powerful than even the Dark Side powered Emperor.

In a world of Star Wars computer technology why the flip is every damn gun big or small humanoid targeted, require being shot exclusively from the hip, and apparently have been made to such horrible standards that it has less accuracy potential than a slingshot. Judging from the alleged intense training of Jango Fett DNA lineage of the Empire's Clone Army, one can only assume the guns are at fault. On the other hand the Rebellion handgun, carbine, and rifle blasters do not seem to be that much better with accuracy abilities only marginally better than a 10 year old kid throwing rocks at windows. Accuracy seems to be a little finicky. If Luke needs to shoot out a tiny blast door panel 75 yards across the shooting stage, he does it in one shot, however if he needs to pick off Clones standing 10 feet from him offering perfect frontal center mass shots he has to start spraying and praying and misses over and over.

My theory is that most would make the assumption that all these shooters on both side are well trained (otherwise the movie series is about two groups of total tactical idiots inaccurately throwing laser powered rocks at each other), so the only logical conclusion which can be made is that the weapons themselves are total shit with unbelievable limitations from a power and accuracy perspective. Watch any of the scenes of any of Star Wars movie series and you will be appalled at the hit ratio at even sub-seven yard ranges. I didn't get all nerdy and count shots, however the average hit ratio between either side with personnel carried arms has to be very close to 10%-20%.

Now this hit ratio is close to the US military average hit ratios on 300 yard targets, however the distances of the typical Empire/Rebellion engagement appears to be at less than 50-yards. Keep in mind that the average Star Wars blaster is shooting an energy pulse (aka Laser) which should be stunningly accurate considering there is no issues with rifling, bullet spin dynamics, wind deflection,...etc. The Blaster delivers an laser blast which should, based on current laws of physics, deliver perfect 0-MOA accuracy at any range with no hold over required. The only logical explanation is that the optical laser blast delivery lens system on every blaster is loose on every damn gun in the galaxy which causes erratic accuracy. I would blame the accuracy on the optics, however it seems actually aiming a weapon is apparently against the Galactic War Convention and shots can only be taken via a modified 1970s Spaghetti Western shoot from the hip gunslinger style.

Also what is amazing to me is that none of the Star Wars weapons have anywhere close to the same firepower capabilities as a Dillion or General Dynamics Mini-Gun or even full auto fire that a standard Military M4 issue rifles. Even worse is the rate of fire the average blaster is able to deliver which seems to be about 60 rounds a minute maximum. If you had a 100 round capacity blaster, wouldn't you be doing your best imitation of Jerry Miculek to deliver suppressive fire to the 5-10 clone soldiers standing without cover attacking you? So rate of fire I suppose was limited as well with the Star Wars blasters. Logically, none of the Star Wars weapons make sense to me. I can drop a LaserLyte 9mm Laser Training insert in my H&K P30L and deliver more accuracy with a higher rate of fire than any weapon I saw on Star Wars.  Come on, where are the retrofit kits for Earth weapons specifically for my 9mm H&K, Walther, and Glocks...which are all far better formats ergonomically than any pistol I saw in Star Wars.

The weight of the blaster appears to be about the same as you average sized earth firearms, so why do these blasters suck so bad. Greatly reduced accuracy and rates of fire, with about the same weight, seems like black powder revolvers, machetes, and ball peen hammers would be better options in many ways.

Based on the impact take outs of hero/anti-hero clone soldiers by Wookies, wrenches, and other hard objects throughout the movie series, we can only assume the armor of the clones would be easily defeated by any modern firearm round.

Let's contrast this to a few excellent firearms in my inventory which all deliver 1" or better accuracy at the 100-yard mark. The Remington 700 SPS .308 as an example could have delivered one shot takedown of surface drones, and random Clone soldiers at distances out to 1000 yards. The semi-automatic DPMS GII .308 offers 20-50 round magazine driven options for a lot of take down power and even a pretty high rate of fire even in semi-auto.

From a troupe issued carbine/rifle perspective, my BPM Barnes Precision Machine AR and futuristic IWI Tavor appear to be amazingly advanced firearms with exponentially higher rates of fire, similar or greater power, better accuracy, with about the same weight and they can even be aimed at targets which the Star Wars Blasters were not particularly well suited for.

If we look at the hip carried Star Wars pistol blaster, the Glock 20 in 10mm would be a hands down winner from a range, power, accuracy, and rate of fire. In a couple scenes I thought I saw Han Solo having to deliver double taps to a Clone or two. Conversely, the FBI has deemed the 10mm to be nearly magical, so I hardly doubt any hand held blaster could equal the 10mm power... I mean the FBI says so.

… and lets not even get deep into the topic of body armor and camouflage. What is the purpose of bright hard plastic that make a ton of racket every time you move, inhibits mobility, and apparently offers nothing in the way of protection to the clone when taking fire. I am pretty sure the clone army would have been better served to run around buck naked on in one of those creepy unitard suits with just a blaster in hand. Where is the cloaking technology… geez even Harry Potter had this capability.

Admittedly I am a Sci Fi nerd. I love this stuff, however I found myself screaming all the shooting fundamentals at the screen this time around. It is actually a wonder with all the muzzle sweeps and fingered trigger handling going on that no one was accidentally shot in each scene. The bottom line is I feel well armed even by the advanced standard of Star Wars though I do not have a Millenium Falcon that can usually make the jump to hyperspace. This article is what happens when you watch Star Wars after three glasses of Scotch, but I hoped you enjoyed the comparison.


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